This is a deeply personal and sensitive question, and experiences vary widely. Many parents have moments they regret, and children may hold onto those memories differently. Here are some common examples of things parents have done that children sometimes struggle to forgive:

Common Parental Actions That Can Cause Lasting Hurt

1. Emotional Neglect or Abandonment

• Failing to provide emotional support or affection.
• Being absent physically or emotionally during critical moments.
• Prioritizing other things consistently over the child’s needs.

2. Harsh or Unfair Punishment

• Physical punishment that felt excessive or abusive.
• Public humiliation or shaming.
• Punishing without explanation or fairness.

3. Broken Promises or Trust

• Promising something important and repeatedly failing to follow through.
• Lying or hiding significant information.
• Favoritism or inconsistent treatment compared to siblings.

4. Lack of Support for Identity or Choices

• Rejecting or invalidating the child’s identity (gender, sexuality, beliefs).
• Forcing career or lifestyle choices against the child’s wishes.
• Not respecting boundaries or autonomy.

5. Exposure to Conflict or Trauma

• Exposing the child to domestic violence or intense parental conflict.
• Involving the child in adult issues or conflicts.
• Neglecting to protect the child from harmful environments.

Healing and Moving Forward

If you are a parent reflecting on this, it’s important to:

• Acknowledge past mistakes without defensiveness.
• Open honest communication with your child.
• Seek family counseling or therapy if needed.
• Show consistent love, respect, and support over time.

If you are a child struggling with forgiveness, remember:

• Forgiveness is a personal process and can take time.
• Setting healthy boundaries is okay.
• Professional support can help navigate complex feelings.

Would you like advice on how to start a conversation about this or resources for healing?