Celibacy is the state of voluntarily being unmarried, sexually abstinent, or both, usually for religious reasons. However, celibacy can look different for each person, so there’s no single way to practice it. Some people abstain from all kinds of sexual contact, including kissing or holding hands, while others only refrain from sexual intercourse. Celibacy can be a choice, but it may also be involuntary. Some people choose celibacy as a way to feel closer to their religion or commit to a higher power they believe in. Others choose celibacy to recover from compulsive sexual behaviors. Reasons for abstaining from sex include preventing pregnancy or STIs, waiting for a certain level of romantic commitment, focusing on school or career, managing mental or physical health concerns, and more.

Celibacy brings an expectation of security in the self and, for religious people, a reliance on God. Therefore, celibacy can help those with sexual trauma to reclaim the security that was taken from them. In addition, expectations of marriage and family can lead to strained relationships with parents or peers. This shame can lead to trauma of its own, which can be helped by choosing celibacy. Celibacy can also help people to develop deeper relationships without the element of physicality.

Choosing the boundaries of celibacy can be empowering for people who want to make thoughtful choices about sex. Some couples choose celibacy together and set up their own parameters. Being able to talk about personal sexual choices with a partner is a key part of voluntary celibacy. Celibacy can have psychological and spiritual benefits, such as increased focus on goals, protection from the anxieties of relationships and sexuality, and increased closeness with God.