Limerence is a state of mind that results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person, and typically includes intrusive, melancholic thoughts, or tragic concerns for the object of ones affection. It is a mental state of profound romantic infatuation, deep obsession, and euphoric longing. Limerence is characterized by an initial period of elation and intense emotional arousal that can progress to an involuntary, obsessive craving for another person. It is an involuntary, potentially inspiring state of adoration and attachment to a limerent object (LO) involving intrusive and obsessive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from euphoria to despair, contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation. Limerence is not exclusively sexual and can be defined in terms of its potentially inspirational effects and relation to attachment theory.
Limerence is different from love, as it is mostly based on what the other person can give you, and it is not unconditional. It is a variant of romantic love, often marked by intrusive and obsessive thoughts about the object of your affection, a craving for an emotional union, and a high motivation to win this person over. Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often dismissed by non-limerents as ridiculous.
Limerence can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. It can be difficult to overcome, and it can cause significant problems in someones life, such as neglecting social life, work, and other responsibilities. Limerence is characterized by internal experiences such as ruminative thinking, anxiety and depression, temporary fixation, and the disintegration of the self. It can be experienced as an aching sensation in "the heart" when uncertainty is strong, a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background, and a remarkable ability to emphasize the positive features of the LO, and minimize, or empathize with, the negative.
Limerence is still a relatively unexplored concept, but research suggests that it stems from a mixture of personality traits, biological predispositions, and attachment styles. It is an obsessive and anxiety-provoking kind of desire, and it comes with extreme lows, despair, and self-doubt. Limerence is unhealthy and can even be associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder, with symptoms such as loss of appetite, loss of sleep, loss of friendships, and healthy family dynamics.
